I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: when you look at the performance most people play of their life, it’s obvious they need a better scriptwriter. Lord knows I’m not above needing some help! So who better to turn to than role models Pamela Pearl and Nicky Marotta when deciding on life options?
PAMELA PEARL
Cons
You might be accused of being:
* a groupie
* a slummer
* or — worst of all! — a LUG. 
Pros
* You will probably have a quiet life.
* A very quiet life.
* A zombified quiet life…
NICKY MAROTTA
Cons
* Surveillance by the State
* Incarceration in jail, psychiatric institutions
* You’ll probably have to move a lot
Pros
* You’re Nicky Marotta
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